Pain, Sorrow and Joy

A while ago one of my friends, after reading some on my blog, said to me that he thought I have a sense/feeling for tragic (freely translated from Swedish). That kinda surprised me and I’ve been thinking a lot about it. I’m not sure what he meant, but I think he’s right. I’m somewhat drawn to…well tragic might be one word for it. Or pain, sorrow and suffering. With this I’m not saying that I walk around depressed, no I try to be happy and find the good things in life (I don’t always succeed, but that’s kinda what life is about, to learn how to be happy, isn’t it?). But I’ve experienced my share of pain and suffering, and I’ve seen other people in pain or struggling. And so I guess it’s something I try to understand, and something I’ve learned to respect. I’ve learned that there are a lot of good to be found in our pain. Often pain is what inspire us to do better, to follow our dreams, to make changes, to work harder. I find a special kind of beauty in it, to see the strength that can only come through suffering. To me there are few things more inspiring than to see a person who has gone through a lot of suffering or trials and still have a positive or grateful attitude towards life. There’s something magic about it, and to me they seem to have this special wisdom glowing around them. Today I’m grateful for (most of, lol) the pain I’ve experienced in life and for the person it has made me become. The things I’ve learned from my trials are invaluable. Of course I don’t like to suffer, or to see others suffer, quite the contrary. But still…I know and have accepted it as a part of life, and that has made me love life a lot more. Now accepting here does not mean that I don’t try to overcome trials or fight injustice. We should always fight for the good. It’s hard to explain, and I could sit here all night writing about it. But I think Kahlil Gibran puts it so beautiful and clear in his book “The Prophet” (a must read if you already haven’t). There is one chapter there called “Joy and Sorrow”:

“Then a woman said, ‘Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.’

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow,’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.”

In another chapter, called “Pain”, he writes:

“And a woman spoke, saying, ‘Tell us of Pain.’

And he said:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.”

For me who believe in God, I think the most beautiful thing that can come out of suffering is that it can bring us closer to God. He knows all about suffering, and he also has a perfect knowledge about true joy. If we let our trials and hard times humble us, and seek the help and companionship of our God, it can bring about almost miraculous changes and growth in us. At least it has for me. And we can actually feel joy in the middle of sorrow. Like Kahlil Gibran says, they go together and if we can see that, and the daily miracles of life, we would accept it like we accept the seasons, and “watch with serenity through the winters of [our] grief”. I don’t know if I’m making any sense here, it’s getting really late. But for me that thought just fills me with peace and excitement about life. Because life really is wonderful, in all it’s seasons.

P.S. If you wanna read more from ”The Prophet”, either the whole book or just a few chapters, just click here